Letter to the Editor

Dear Utahns,

Sorry, it was me. I started the snow with loving Autumn. It was too good to be true.

With deepest regrets,

Kendall Lee

Cleaning my room

And what do I find? The BEST LETTER EVER.

Rachel, oh Rachel, my favorite cousin Rachel. You are hilarious. And Erica, too.

I really can't remember why Rachel and I were writing letters to each other pretending to be other people, but Rach and I did a lot of weird stuff when we were younger. Just ask about "Sleeping Beauty" sometime. :)

(letter found in some random box)

Dear Kandra,

Well, HELLOOOO there! You sound like a hot little muffin! (too bad we're related.) My name is Rex, and from what I've read about you, you sound like a cool person. Here's more info about me...
I have blonde hair (which I usually spike forward), and blue eyes. I like to snowboard and talk online (sn: chicamagnet411). I think when I grow up I want to be a pilot like my Grandpa Williams. My favorite movie is Lilo & Stich...I love the surfing in it (tight!). I weigh a little less than most guys. My scrawny stature is embarrassing sometimes, but at least I know I'm growing out of it! I'm working out at the YMCA now with my mom. My height is 5'6".
I love flying, don't you?
I'm looking forward to meetin' you as soon as the plane lands! (Mom says to tell you to make sure and wear your seatbelt!)
Sincerely,
Rex

The best part, however, is when you turn the page over. Rex's hot cousin Tanner has a little response. (yes, Erica, you did write this. It's your handwriting. :))

Hey babe-
Don't go for my cousin Rex. He isn't outrageously beautiful as i am. I bet he is jealous of my lean, buff, tann, 6 foot body. I can ALWAYS turn a girl's head with my dashing physique. I'm sure you simply CAN'T wait to meet me. I know you'll be dazzled. See ya soon, hun!
The real babe magnet,
Tanner

And "Rex" adds this note at the bottom of Tanner's note:

Did somebody say BIG HEAD?! I think he missed the humility Sunday school lesson. >:(

Hey cousins, thank you for brightening my day these 5 (hopefully at least that much) years later. Love you!

Dear Claiken,

I am returning to my roots, everyone. And no, I don't mean my natural hair color. And I absolutely do not mean obesity.

I am celebrity blogging.


CLAY AIKEN IS HAVING A BABY!!!!!?!?!?!!
OMG. (yeah that deserves one)
Claiken, oh Claiken,
My dad bought me your CD once! I used to listen to the creepy 'fly on the wall' song and pretend it wasn't creepy, because I thought you were kind of cool. I mean, you did place second on American Idol. Everyone knows 1st place never gets you anywhere besides anything Fox and AI tours. I decided to like you (kind of), and even when rumors swirled that you were gay(which I believe now more than ever), I stood by your side.
Now, THIS?!

It's. So. Weird.
She was artificially inseminated.
That means...you know...like, on purpose.
Someone chose Claiken genes to be in their baby.
On. Purpose.

Agh.

And what a horrible way to tell people! The (crazy) woman's brother told People that it was (not american idol, though the abbreviation is entertaining) an AI, not even a for real, on accident, out of wedlock child. This is bad news for female fans of Claiken. Good news for the male ones.

Latah, Claiken!!
-kw

Dearest Bloggest,

Ohh Blogger,

I can't beleve I have not writen in neerly a week! Its been a realy crazy cuple of days. I went to this dance club called studio 600 and danced the night away with some pretty crazy mexican lads who were all tryin to get up in my gril. It was all in selebrashun of rachels birthday.

Also babysat my favorite neice in da world, she is sooo cute. I hung out with Emma and Adam, Amber and Mike, and Ben and Aubrey planned jus the cutest litle suprise party for josh. I took the baby, too. It was so wunderful 2 have a love child.

All in all it wus a wundereful weekend. I have midterms in every 1 of my clases this week alone. Cheers!

love,

kendall lee

Why oh why?

Why, Mother Nature, are you so cruel to me?? Why is the outside windy and bitter cold when the sun comes out, and WHY is it warm before a dump of snow is about to occur? Why does 40 degrees now seem like perfect short weather? Flip flops ohh flip flops, I miss wearing you.

I would like to file a formal complaint with Mom Nature. Please make it summer, and I promise I will never EVER litter again and I will always turn off the water in between brushing my teeth and spitting out, and I will absolutely recycle my special drink cans. Love you. Bye!

Letter to My Girl Crush.

Dear Emma,

Can I be you?

Love,

Kendall




also

Dear Rupert,

Can I date you?

Love,

Kendall

Blogger oh Blogger

Blogger oh Blogger how the days go by
When I do not work, they sure do fly
I am very sorry about the absent posts
I have been neglecting the thing that I love the mosts

I check you so rarely for many sad reasons
I do home work so much, I feel there's no seasons
Seasons of joy in which your love I abide
Blogger oh Blogger, please let me back inside

I'm sad of being in the lonely dark rain
I'm sure, my dear blogger, you can remove my pain
For when I do post I am sure you are glad
Blogger, oh Blogger, I shant make you more mad.

I'm watching Wimbeldon!

Dear Family and people who live in Utah,

I am going to Utah 6 days early, I arrive Friday morning at 7:45.

Sincerely,
Kendall

I think the time has come

Guys, I think I'm going to write a letter. A FAN LETTER.
How embarassing. But the thought consumes me. What if I could MEET Hermione or Ron, or even Harry Potter. I'm not sure if I'm ready to take the jump....but I'll let you know.

And if I do write a letter, it's got to be good. Good enough for the recipient to say, "Oh well I'd like to meet you here's a plane ticket to London."

Gosh, I'm so creepy.

k, Bye!

What will happen if I don't make enough this summer.

Dear Wonka,

Your idea to have 'Magically Changes Color!" SweeTarts was possibly your worst idea yet. If I wanted to eat something that tasted like Kool-Aid, I would eat Kool-Aid powder. As it does not taste good, I do not eat it (without lots of sugar). SweeTarts are put into my mouth, chewed, swallowed, and digested. Please do not ruin my SweeTarts with your magic changing powder that does not satisfy either 'magic' or 'color changing'. I am disgusted by this mediocre attempt to create a better candy. Please forward me $3.39 for the cost of this product, as well as $2,500 for anguish and embarassment.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call my exremely brilliant and vigilant attorney, Attorney 2.

Very Truly Yours,


Kendall L. Williams
CC: Attorney 2

This might convince you a little bit

to love Rupert Grint. I desperately want to see Driving Lessons.
Dear Becki,
We netflix it immediately.

Just in Case

Dear Joe,

Please cut your hair.

Love,

Kendall

To brighten up your day.

Dear iGoogle members,
If you have not yet added the Daily Humor from Giglish application, you really should. Only, get the Hella True Fact of the Day first.
Love,
an iGoogle member

p.s.
Chuck Norris is pretty great.

Say Hi to some mixed emotions.

Two things CNN news headlines brought me this morning. One sad, the other quite funny.

First off, I can't believe this story. It is disgusting. What kind of mother could murder her children? This is either a growing trend in Texas or there is a lot more talk about it now. I can't believe the kind of insanity it would take to do such a thing.

Second story is not so dark.


I can't imagine how embarassing this would be, but I couldn't help but laugh at seeing it over and over and over and over again.
Dear Rachel Smith,
I feel bad for you, but that's what you get for being really pretty.
Love,
Kendall

Note to the Relief Soctiety

Today there was a man on the corner of University Pkwy and University Ave with a sign that read something like,

"Dear Relief Society,
Please help me, I have been on the streets alone for six days."



I thought it quite lovely.

Tom Cruise

Dear Fans,
The elusive search for the mysterious BYU Tom Cruise is now over. After one long month of searching for dear Tommy boy that I met on the first day of school, I have found him. Nearly every day on our way to biology, I describe to Becki the miracle of Tom and Kendall meeting.


'We were both very confused that our Biology class was not meeting at the appropriate time. I talked with this nice returned missionary, and with every word became more involved in watching this man that looked like Tom Cruise. I felt like I was watching Mission Impossible, listening to him. I asked him if anyone ever told him that he looked like Tom Cruise, and he said, "Maybe once or twice....But i hear the girls like him, so I'm not complaining." '

Dear Tom, what a modest boy he is.

I guess the most exciting part about seeing him today was that it was a SURPRISE! I wasn't even expecting to see my perfect ROTC Tommy, and basically shouted out my joy to Becki. She even locked eyes with him. After sitting in class, we watched Tom take his seat, and in the middle of class he got up and walked out. Mission Impossible 2.

I'm such a creep.

Love,
Kendall