What will happen if I don't make enough this summer.

Dear Wonka,

Your idea to have 'Magically Changes Color!" SweeTarts was possibly your worst idea yet. If I wanted to eat something that tasted like Kool-Aid, I would eat Kool-Aid powder. As it does not taste good, I do not eat it (without lots of sugar). SweeTarts are put into my mouth, chewed, swallowed, and digested. Please do not ruin my SweeTarts with your magic changing powder that does not satisfy either 'magic' or 'color changing'. I am disgusted by this mediocre attempt to create a better candy. Please forward me $3.39 for the cost of this product, as well as $2,500 for anguish and embarassment.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call my exremely brilliant and vigilant attorney, Attorney 2.

Very Truly Yours,


Kendall L. Williams
CC: Attorney 2

Don't tell my mom

So this morning I went to Starbucks (not for coffee) for a lovely caramel hot chocolate. I usually get a short one (7 swallows worth of delight) but today I decided to spring for the tall. Mom, I still spent less than $3 and I was on time for work.

Anyway, cashier asks for my name to write on the cup, I say Kendall, I could tell he was a bit confused. I thought it was about the spelling, but who knew? I waited at the finished counter (I don't know what else to call the place where they have the completed drinks) while they called Dan with his Chai Tea Latte, and Emma with her Grande double mocha almond frappuchino with a shot of espresso, and they finally called out a Tall Caramel Hot Chocolate. No name.

37 minutes later while I'm at work sipping my caramel hot chocolate, I see my name. Candy.

I suppose I have a bright future as a prostitute for the man at the Starbucks.

I learned the hard way.

Never ever try to microwave a Now and Later to make it softer.

if you do, and you succeed,

Never ever eat it.